पुरानी डायरी के पन्नों पर

पुरानी डायरी के पन्नों पर


आज पुरानी डायरी के पन्ने पलटते हुए
एहसास हुआ है कि मैंने खवाइश न की थी,
सूरज निगल जाने की,
तारे तोड़ के लाने की,
मैंने चाँद भी न माँगा था !

मैं बस एक फूल तेरे बालों में लगाना चाहता था,
फूल जो की तेरे सर्पीले बालों में रात दिन महकता!
मैंने सपनो में बादलों की गठरी बनाकर तेरे गेसुओं में डाली थी
मैं कायनात से तुझे मांग भी न पाया,
मैं तो रोमांचित था तेरे नाम से,
तेरे रूप से, तेरी मुस्कान से,
क़ि मैं तुझे बस छूना चाहता था!
मेरी किस्मत में लेकिन तेरे हाथों की हल्दी का दाग लग गया!
आज पुरानी डायरी के पन्नों पर इस दाग का पीलापन फिर उभर आया है !
दाग सूरज सा चमक रहा है और मैं
निस्तेज दिए सा फड़फड़ाने लगा हूँ!

-प्रशांक चंद्रा
16.10.16


 

   

सपनों के लौटने का इंतज़ार !

अब जबकि किनारों पे तेरे क़दमों के निशां खोजने छोड़ दिए हैं मैंने, 
ढलते सूरज के नीचे बैठ तेरा इंतज़ार भी नहीं होता !
अब न सुबह होती है तेरी मुस्कराहट से, 
न रात तेरी हंसी से रौशन!
बेवजह मैं भी अब परेशां नहीं होता
बेवजह तेरा भी दिल नहीं धड़कता!
मैंने भी कागजों की नाव बनाना छोड़ दिया है,
तेरा भी पैरहन अब कागजी नहीं!
मिट जाने का जज्बा न मेरे दिल मैं है,
कुर्बान होने की चाहत तेरे जिस्म में भी नहीं!
तेरी किस्मत मैं है अब पतझड़ का जर्द रंग,
मेरी बाँहों में मनहूसियत की गर्मी,
मैं अपने दिल को अपनी बाँहों में सम्हाल सकता हूँ,
तू भी अपनी आँखों में दोजख छुपा सकती है! 
मेरी कामयाबी के हारों में तेरे फूल की खुशबू नहीं,
तेरी भी हंसी में मेरे दिल का उजाला नहीं,
नादान दिलों को अब जमाने ने समझदार बना दिया है,
पर समझदार होकर भी यह नासमझी क्यों बाकी है?
क्यों हर शाम मुझे तेरी याद में डुबाती है ?

----------- प्रशांक चंद्रा
             ०९.१०.२०१६

 

एक नव ब्राह्मण की बेचैनी !

 

पता रहना चाहिए मुझे तुम्हारी जाति,
नहीं तो तुम्हारी पॉलिटिक्स पता नहीं चलती!

होने लगता हूँ मैं बैचैन! निहायत ही बैचैन! 
जब नहीं पता लगा पाता मैं तुम्हारे नाम से तुम्हारी जाति का पता !I

बस अपने जैसे जानवरों के समूह में ही मैं खुश हूँ 
क्योंकि यही सीखा है मैंने "उन" जानवरों से जोकि जन्मना सदियों तक सम्मानीय रहे !

रौंद डाला था जिन्होंने करोड़ों लोगों का सम्मान!
मैं अब बिलकुल उनके जैसा हूँ, बस देखता हूँ कि मैं और मेरा कबीला खुश रहे!
मिलती रहे मेरे हाथी को हरी घास!
और रहें मेरे अपने ही मेरे आस पास!

क्योंकि मैंने मान लिया है (जैसा कि उन्होंने माना था) कि

जन्म कुल ही सफलता कि कुंजी है मेरे भारत महान में!

इसीलिए ऐ दोस्त ! मुझ नव ब्राह्मण पर तरस खाओ ! और प्लीज 
अपने नाम से अपनी जाति कि प्रतीति अवश्य कराओ !

कोशिश करने वालो की कभी हार नही होती!

This is really turning out an act of a lazy..a very lazy person. When I have last published my post, that was 23.02.2011 and that post was posted after 01 year of silence. That day I have made a promise with myself that I will write my blog at least once in a week, if not daily like a diary. But after a gap of 3 years, I can say one thing definitely that I am not a person, who can keep his promise. My will power is not strong and my mental state is perpetually in a transition stage. In short fickle minded person is what I am!

Leave it....I am not a celebrity in whose analysis people will take interest..even I am not interested in my analysis.

The feeling  now-a-days is that life is running out of me and I am not being able to fully utilize it.This is really dreadful feeling. Is life all about making a livelihood? going to office and coming back? getting married and having kids? or is there something else also?

Lets see all the noise created by movies like 3 idiots, books like the alchemist etc. How many people have changed their life after watching 3 idiots or reading the alchemist? very few! you can count the numbers on your fingers! and there is strong possibility that all those who have changed their life could have been changed it without reading the alchemist or watching the 3 idiots!

The idea of changing the life of course comes from the mind which is not satisfied with the present condition....the condition of the country...personal life...professional life...etc. and the perpetual dissatisfaction arises out of this and that makes life difficult to live.


See, the mundane activities to get the livelihood is not what will give the pleasure to the soul...the activities of philanthropy is also a waste of time.. as the saying goes that if you are not happy yourself than you will not be able to make others happy.
So, living life as you wish to live and  doing the balancing act of mundane and other activities is what will give you pleasure. Pleasure comes out of creativity and it goes with the bondage and compulsions. And if you are not truly determined to change yourself , mind will play every trick in its armor to make sure that you will remain slave of your habits. Watching inspirational movies and reading self help or other books will not help.
going beyond mind will help..so lets try once again...make promises once again...and till then read this poem:

लहरों से डर कर नौका पार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती,
नन्हीं चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है,
चढ़ती दीवारों पर, सौ बार फिसलती है,
मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है,
चढ़कर गिरना, गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है,
आख़िर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती,
डुबकियां सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है,
जा जा कर खाली हाथ लौटकर आता है,
मिलते नहीं सहज ही मोती गहरे पानी में,
बढ़ता दुगना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में,
मुट्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती,
असफलता एक चुनौती है, इसे स्वीकार करो,
क्या कमी रह गई, देखो और सुधार करो,
जब तक न सफल हो, नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम,
संघर्श का मैदान छोड़ कर मत भागो तुम,
कुछ किये बिना ही जय जय कार नहीं होती,
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती……….

after a year

I have written my last blog almost a year ago..so again here I am…
Many things have changed since then…
I was writing my last blog from Uttarkashi..
And this blog from Faridabad..
I was a bachelor then.. and now committed
There was the strong desire that time for change.
There is strong desire this time not to change.
But still the person is same .. I have to confess that not much have been changed since then as far as inner development is concerned.
There is no improvement.. The reason is simple I have not tried for this.
I have not tried because I was not fed up with the life “as it is”
“To be” process is yet to start. Still I think that I can get happiness from this world….letz see if there is something in relationships..or as Satre has said that “The other is hell” is true!
My motivation level is at all time low…..
But this too will Pass……

Plastic beauties and plastic personalities!

Ever since I have been doing this bloggin business I started following blogs of other's! Its gud to read others views especially if they are celebrities! and not like ur regular celebrities..Amitabh...Sachin etc...! I like the kind of celebrities..who gives the feeling of so near and so far and their desperation to get there...where others are and where they think ..they should be..coz they deserve it! they deserve it because they can do anything for this! and if this wanna be clebrity is a personality like Sherlyn Chopra then wow! even if you know that its all fake..u like it..those images..boobs....butts..and lips! after how many surgery she got it..is immaterial..aam khane se matlab hona chahiye paid ginne se nahi!right? so the titles in her blog..like.. I want to have a bigger butt in 2010...I won't mind using sperms to defy age! etc, gives so much pleasure. Actually after seeing this girl in Big Boss..i am quite sympathetic about her. In spite of having so much and so many assets she looked sad! always talking about Bible! and in a way similar to me- did't like to talk to others too. This is the age of plastic!! everything around us consists plastic....u name the thing and plastic avatar of that thing would be there..plastic money too! and plastic beauty is no less then natural one! can you say that there is any difference?? okkkk ..u can? right! coz former is a way too perfect then latter..right? but perfection in itself is unnatural? hun? is't it? nature is always perfectly imperfect! and i like this..I like this imperfectness...its give human touch but I like perfectness in my dreams..or in other words i dream about perfectness..and plastic surgey is providing just that its giving wings to our dreams! and this sexy girl is also imperfect...she cannot fake smile perfectly! whenever she smiled in Big Boss...she could't hide pain behind it! but she knows that her biggest assests are her Hips and Lips..so she is faking those things and I dont have any complaint about that!! at least plastic beauty is better then plastic personalities! am I right?

अब कहाँ रस्म घर लुटाने की !

Now I am thinking that why I have loved this film so much?? there is nothing special about the movie.Your average actors...hero...heroines. Thousand time done it -type story...boy loves girl since childhood.When they grow up they meet and after a brief physical encounter he suspects her..that she is a slut..a whore etc. But after taking litres of Vodka when he realizes that she is the girl for him it becomes too late! uhhh..wats new there??
When I have read Devdas of Sharatchandra in my school days then ...I still remember that I have almost shed tears at the end of the story-'There should be someone near you at the time of death to shed few drops of tears!' How pathetic that end was and my heart was full of grief!sorrow!pain! but I could't identify myself with Devdas ! Its reverse in the case of Dev-D. I can identify easily--oh! Its not Abhay Deol ..its me! with secret desire to self destruction. Indeed this movie Dev-D has captured the contemporary idiom successfully!

The other film which has overwhelmed me 2-3 years ago was "Gangster". Usually I purchase CDs of classics only but I made Gangster an exception.It is having pride of place with the classics of Gurudatt in my CD album! Two things are common in both the movies-Liquor and self destructive mode of protagonist! Why there is so much lure of both the things? We know that it is not right for us even then we go to fetch the Bottle! Coke with Vodka! May be broken heart with liquor makes a deadly combination which not only loosers but your so-called winners also like-coz we all are loosers in one way or another! no matter how much success we got or how much money we collected or whether somebody dumped us or we have collected a trophy wife!Ultimately all the paths leads towards grave! Ending the blog in the words of Faiz-
अब कहाँ रस्म घर लुटाने की
बर्कतें थी शराबख़ाने की !
कौन है जिससे गुफ़्तुगु कीजे
जान देने की दिल लगाने की !
बात छेड़ी तो उठ गई महफ़िल
उनसे जो बात थी बताने की !
साज़ उठाया तो थम गया ग़म-ए-दिल
रह गई आरज़ू सुनाने की !
चाँद फिर आज भी नहीं निकला
कितनी हसरत थी उनके आने की !